Big crash

ME/CFS

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I’ve just getting over a four day fatigue crash–where I had basically no energy to get out of bed for four whole days, the longest stretch ever. Maybe it was from the Melbourne trip, which would be super annoying since I tried carefully to keep it short and well-planned, but it sort of felt more like I was perhaps fighting off some kind of bug or virus. I was kind of feverish and really achey, and of course, just beyond tired. Fatigue doesn’t even really cut it as a descriptor.

Who really knows what caused it. No matter what it was, it was super frustrating. When I have a big crash that is somewhat extended (usually it is two days tops before I can be back at work at least for a short day), I start to get worried that it’s going to drag on and on and that I’ve somehow tipped the scales into a more severe version of the illness.

It also always seems to come after I’ve done something that I feel some sense of satisfaction from or have enjoyed, like talking on the panel in Melbourne last week, writing a good blog with my boss and doing two radio interviews (here and here). And then, the punishment.

Anyway, I’m slowly getting back to baseline after this one.

But I’m starting to get worried that this is never going to go away–it’s not getting any better. And I don’t know how I will be able to have the life I want if it doesn’t.

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