Do not eat while playing


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So, I already mentioned I went to Paddy’s Markets on Sunday (don’t mention lollipops).  Not only did I buy some ragin’ fruit and veg for cheaps, I also had fun buying crazy things in the Asian supermarket.

I used to live quite close to Chinatown and would shop there all the time, but I haven’t been back for a while and I had forgotten how much fun it is to purchase mysterious items with labels written in Chinese, Malaysian, Indonesian, Japanese or Korean.  It’s like those lucky dip draws they would have at school fetes.  You know that you are probably going to get something crappy, but the mystery makes you buy it anyway.

In Leichhardt you can buy lots of Italian goods, but that’s not so much fun… tortellini is the same in Italian as it is in English, funnily enough.  And because the Italians use the same letters as us, it’s all pretty easy to figure out.  I had forgotten the joys of trying to figure out whether to buy something based on hieroglyphics and bold coloured pictures of fruit or anime animals with smiley smiley faces.  Or whether to trust the English words ‘OK!’, ‘super wow’ or ‘fun time’ randomly written in big letters across the front of the packet.

I bought a stash of crazy lollies, and took some of them in to work.  There were some weird strawberry gummies that had a strange texture, but they were ok.  I also bought a bag of these little tiny fruit jelly cups that were a bit suspicious… but we grew to love them when there was no other source of sugar left in the office.  They had weird little bits in the jelly and we have no idea what it was.  Maybe Ratsack?  Who knows.

But one of my astute coworkers found something even funnier that the weird bits on the reverse of the packet.  There were instructions on how to consume these little jelly cups… apparently it’s a complicated exercise.

The packet advised not to eat the jelly while playing.  It also suggested that the jelly may need to be cut up in to small pieces for the ‘very young and very elderly’.  We are talking about jelly cups not much bigger than a thimble here.  It would be very difficult to cut them up to be much smaller.

But from that we can deduce that it is perfectly acceptible to eat the jelly cups while you are doing anything… except playing.  Operating heavy machinery while taking jelly cups must be completely ok.  But elderly who might be consuming jelly cups while sniffing petrol or surfing or something are best advised to cut it in to teeny tiny pieces.

Anyway, these funny warnings reminded me of a website which was very much ‘joke of the day’ in the late 1990’s on breakfast  TV shows (before they could just play clips from YouTube instead of producing their own content).  Dumb Warnings used to be pretty funny and had photographic evidence of the ridiculous warnings out there.  Now it just looks like people make them up.  I think its glory days are over.

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