Remember when a sick day was actually a sick day? You’d stay home in bed all nice and warm and the only exertion would come from changing the channel from one trashy daytime TV show to another and from coughing up half a lung? There were no other expectations upon you?
Now, thanks to the internet, you can still perform your full duty to capitalism without exposing your colleagues to noxious germs!
Even if you are deathly ill with some evil flu that you got from your ballerina sister, it’s still possible to work from home if you have a WiFi connection and a job where the staffing levels have fallen to the point where there aren’t really enough people to cover your responsibilities for a day or two anyway.
But is this really wise?
For example, today I got a receipt from ModCloth in my email confirming that my order had been shipped out. An order that I thought I decided I didn’t have enough money to make, but my pseudoephedrine-addled mind must have clicked purchase on anyway. Would you let a drugged up snot zombie wander around a retail store to make poor budgeting decisions? No? How come it is OK for the same snot zombie to perform tasks that are important for your company?
Putting paid employment and dangerous access to online shopping aside, Internet access also kills the sick day by making one feel laziness guilt. You know, the kind of guilt that you feel when you aren’t DOING anything except being sick. As a result, I have applied for two jobs for the end of the year in the past two days just to feel productive.
Lord only knows what I wrote to them…