An IHOP (International House of Pancakes) opened in my DC neighbourhood of Columbia Heights, and I decided I’d better go and have an American Cultural Experience by eating there. It was pretty exciting. I had to wait for a table, so I got a card instructing me that they would call “Mo’Nique” when my table was ready. Instead of using my real name. It was slightly confusing. But a couple of minutes later they called it and I managed to realize they meant me and I plonked down in my diner seat.
This, dear friends, is the kind of American Cultural Experience that you get for $8. I just ordered the breakfast, but the pancakes and the free special apple “Fall flavours” crepe came with it. I did not expect to get all of this. But I think this is the American Dream. Lots of bad food for very little money. I kinda felt the breakfast was a healthier choice than the Cheesecake Pancakes or some of the chocolate options on the menu, but who really knows.
The pancakes were good. Everything else was meh. I ate about a third of this food then felt like I needed to puke and went home and napped. It’s pretty sad when you need to have a nap after breakfast.
So, the pancakes were good. But then I was tempted by the wrongness of it all and put the fluoro pink and blue fruit syrups they have on the table on to try, and that was scary. See on the crepe, those deceptive few slices of cinnamon apple? Well, I expected there would be more apple inside the crepe. But there was just more cream! Soooooo much cream! And it tasted like it was from a can.
I came to one conclusion from my trip to IHOP. If I was drunk, this would be the greatest thing in the world. But sober, not so much. Give me some fancy Melbourne or Sydney cafe breakfast any day…. where was the baby spinach? The sauteed rosemary portabello? The dukkah dusted eggs?