In the movies, my computer would be fixed now. At least it would if it was a movie where I had written the script.
This week I had several examples that showed me that the movies are just FULL OF LIES.
1. At my normal cafe at work. Waiting amongst a crowd for my skim cappucino with one. Barista comes over and goes “skim cap with one for you and skim cap with one for you too”. In the movies, the fellow recepient of the skim cap would have been my ideal man but we would have had a “will they won’t they” hour of screen time filled with on and off dating with lots of comical mishaps. Then eventually we would realise that we were perfect for each other and probably get married and pop out a few kids.
But in real life he was a balding middle aged man who was sweating profusely despite it being about 5 degrees celsius that morning. He thanked the barista with a grunt. Try and make a romantic comedy out of that Hugh Grant!
2. I was walking along the street reading a book… turned around the corner and crashed into another man who was also reading a book. Dropped book and handbag. In the movies, he would have helped me pick it up, we would have got talking about what we were reading, ended up at a chic coffee shop and then eventually have bought our own book shop together which had a stream of customers despite it being located in a dubious spot and having a team of quirky staff who did nothing but talk about their love lives rather than serve customers.
In real life, he snapped at me “watch it” and proceeded on his walk, even though it was both our faults that the collision had occurred. Especially since it was a blind corner. Tool.
So this, along with my computer still not having been returned to my loving arms, is conclusive proof that the movies are FULL OF LIES.
The end. Not happily ever after.