Out of sheer boredom I have flicked on the Logies. Australian television’s shite of shites. It’s hideous. So awkward. So self congratulatory. Such a terrible reminder of the shitness of Australian television.
I mean, the vapid creature (Natalie Blair) that plays Carmella on Neighbours is nominated for a gold Logie! WTF. She is barely an actress. She whinges, she whines, she mopes, she takes pep pills and then jogs. Portraying any depth or emotion? Not bloody likely. If Carmella was in the Big Brother house, you can bet she would be voted out fairly quickly… if people could distinguish her character from the other mopey faced dull saps.
And Rove McManus has barely been on television all year. How is he nominated for a gold logie when someone like Andrew Denton is clearly a more skilled and more entertaining interviewer, and the boys from the Chaser or the host of Spicks and Specks clearly kick his ass when it comes to being funny?
Argh. There was just a mock "brandpower" ad plugging the "talents" of Kerri-Ann Kennerley. I didn’t realise it was possible to kiss ass and suck ass so much at the same time.
For people who are used to being in the public eye, actors are pretty shit at giving speeches or introducing other actor/actresses.
Surprise surprise, Kate Richie from Home and Away wins Best Actress. Stay in the same job for 20 years and you are bound to get good at it eventually I guess. And she still makes an awkward acceptance speech.
I don’t know how much more of this I can take. Especially if they make another trip to the Maybelline "Blue Green" Room for a few shameless brand plugs while talking the talk with "talented" Australian exports or American D-list imports.
OMIGOD, they aren’t. No… they are. They are doing a Steve Irwin tribute. I should have expected this really. It would be unAustralian if they didn’t. Today Tonight would have been on to them for that, and Anna Coren could have dragged out Naomi Robson’s old safari suit for the exclusive story. Oh God, here they go, dragging out the widow again. Oh no, she’s going to cry again, and try and make jokes about her dead husband. Yep. She did.
What is on David Wenham’s upper lip and why? No time to ponder, we are watching a montage of Steve Irwin. OMIGOD set to Evanescence’s My Immortal… I didn’t know he was an emo. And I didn’t realise that he "held our head through all these years" or that the Australian public "tried so hard to tell myself that you had gone, though you’re still with me, I’ve been alone all along". Completely ridiculous song choice for Croc Hunter video montage. But what else could you expect from a clunky and awkward production like the Logies, Australian television’s apparent night of nights.
Now there is some sort of satirical "take the piss out of game shows but not really" segment. Ugh. Now Todd McKenney and Sonia Kruger are dancing. Oh god, what is she wearing, it looks like a cross between a knight’s chain armour vest and a 1970’s macrame dress. The show is like some kind of nightmare. And the only good shows on TV are nominated in the comedy section. But somehow, the bastard child in the section from a commercial TV station wins. Thank God You’re Here beats Chaser, Spicks and Specks, and The Glass House, as well as some show I haven’t heard of from pay TV. Unbelievable… how?
I can’t take anymore. This sucks too much. I’m going to bed, where my dreams cannot possibly be scarier than watching this car crash.