One of the attractions in Ubud, Bali, is the sacred monkey forest, home to temples surrounded by greenery, and tons and tons of tourists. Oh, and tons of monkeys running around everywhere too.
The presence of tourists has meant that the monkeys are pretty darn cheeky though. I saw one run up to a man, pull open the pocket of his cargo pants and run off with a packet of Wurther’s Originals he had in there. No joke!
So, there are a lengthy list of rules when you go in about how you shouldn’t hide food from the monkeys because they will find it, you should be respectful, not tease them, etc.
Rule No. 5 was my favourite though:
I just love the turn of phrase “if a monkey gets on you”. It sounds like they might attack. I also love the confusing advice to “stand still AND walk away slowly”, and the idea that it might be some sort of monkey hold up, and you should drop your weapons (and by weapons, I mean bananas) and retreat slowly, so you don’t piss off the monkey.
I also love that they “trust your visit will be a memorable one”. It almost sounds like a threat from the Godfather Monkey or something….