I went to the dentist today to hear the inevitable news that I have to have my wisdom teeth out. Should be great.
The positive side is I have found a really nice dentist who I don't want to kick. She's kinda like that happy doctor character on Grey's Anatomy, except less annoying.
It was pretty funny though.
In our pre-lean-back-in-chair-and-open-mouth sincere conversation:
Smiley dentist (SD): "So you're a journalist?"
SD: "Hmm, journalists always have really bad teeth. I think it's all the caffeine. Too much coffee, sugary snacks, energy drinks, all that."
Me: "That's probably right. They also don't get paid very well and dentists are expensive." (notice tactic of talking about "them" in the third person, to disassociate myself from the manky teeth brigade)
SD: "I didn't realise that but you could be right. Plus they never come because they are always on deadline. It's hard for them to get away. There's lots of journalists that come here. Lots of Sydney Morning Herald people."
Me: "Really? I didn't realise this was such a popular neighbourhood for journalists."
SD: "Seems to be. Lots of them. Their teeth are really bad. They all drink those energy drinks all the time. Do you drink those?"
Me: "No, just one cup of coffee a day. I'm only on a suburban paper, not a daily."
SD: "Oh ok. Some of the ones that work overnight, they are the ones I see. I wonder what the day shift people's teeth are like."
Me: "Probably way worse. They probably can't get to go to a dentist unless there's a terrorist attack or something at a surgery. They probably have mean editors and need more energy drinks."
While rendered unable to speak because things were being jabbed in my mouth;
SD: "Your teeth aren't too bad for a journalist."
Me: eee errrr eh errrr errrr errrr uk errrr (translation: Is that actually a compliment? Is that like saying "you're kind of nice for a mass murderer"?)
SD: (ignoring mumbling) You need some fillings though.
I was tempted at one point to ask which profession had the best teeth.
In journalism, they teach you that there are no such things as stupid questions.
But there are… considering how sparkly and perfect my dentist's teeth were, that would have been a really stupid question. Especially since my mouth was plugged open at the time.