I have some sort of mystery illness that it making me really unwell. Last night I was doubled over with cramps, and today spending less than an hour at work made me completely exhausted and so woozy. I write this because I am feeling somewhat lucid after sleeping most of the day and finally eating and drinking flat lemonade, but I am already feeling exhausted again. Even going up and down the stairs in the house is a tiring activity at the moment.
So I went to one of those terrible bulk billing medical centres (the McDonalds’s of the medical world), where the doctors don’t ask any questions, berate you for not using painkillers (I kid you not… I said that I tried to avoid painkillers unless absolutely necessary, so hadn’t taken any, and he freaked out at me… WTF!), assume that you are only there for a medical certificate to get out of work, assume that any stomach related strange feelings are pregnancy (not the case) and dismiss you after 5 minutes to be jabbed by a nurse who could not find my veins. I now have marks and pinholes all over me, and am comforted by his parting words of "oh, that will probably bruise up really badly tomorrow".
Apparently I don’t have much blood or something… and my veins are deep. So it seemed like it took an hour or so for the blood test to be complete, and I felt even sicker afterwards.
Also, despite my clear request to not see any blood "because I already feel faint and I don’t think that will help", the helpful vampire person then left the two huge vials of my blood on the table in front of me while I had to fill in some forms. In my spun out state, I couldn’t tear my eyes away from them, and it made me feel even worse. Plus, the blood didn’t look very red… I know they take it from a vein, but maybe I’m anaemic?
Because I also got an injection, my arm is also really achy.
Then I got to piss in a cup while feeling so dizzy the cubicle was spinning around me. Oh joy!
It reminded me why the worst place to be when you are sick can sometimes be a medical centre or hospital. But to top it all off, being an adult means you can’t be sooky or demand a lollypop or vomit on the nurse’s shoe, even though you may feel doing all of the above.
Anyway, so while trying to flee the bulk billed horror of the centre to my bed (because I feared I was close to passing out on the floor in the middle of the shopping centre), I got trapped in a lift with a trio of screaming triplets and their overstressed mother on the longest lift ride ever (I felt like joining in with the mum to try and get the kids to stop hitting each other, argh!), then almost had a car crash on a roundabout because I forgot my right front indicator is still broken after the accident and other people don’t know I am turning right if I forget to show them with my hand. I then slept for the rest of the day, and missed out submitting something important that I was supposed to put in before 5pm today, even though I spent ages working on it.
But, you know, you have to try and laugh at these things. I am so out of it that today I have tried to get money out of an ATM using my car key (for some reason I pointed my auto lock key at the atm and pressed lock after I entered my PIN… thank God nobody saw), got my first name and last name mixed up on the doctor form and caused much confusion, sent multiple SMS messages to the wrong person, freaked out and thought it was rent day when it’s tomorrow, and sent a confidential personal document to print to some random printer in our office and then wasn’t able to find it anywhere, even though my computer said it had printed. Who knows where it is now.
With this track record I’ll be surprised if this post actually ends up on my blog… I wouldn’t be surprised if I somehow posted it as a letter to an Antarctic research station or something instead.
OK bedtime now. Again.